everyone keeps wondering why is it im cuming home this weekend that supposedly to be very very extremely busy n i kept telling them that my brother is cuming home,so i wanna meet him.
but that,was just my reason.
the truth is.. im having a mental breakdown....
last friday was a usually an unextraordinary friday for me. living a gay and carefree life laughing out loud with my buddies..thats me.. they rarely see me having a bad mood or somewhat moody.
but,this friday seems to carved a nightmare in me,myself.
i was sitting in the lecture hall as my lecturer comes in to deliver her lecture.
5mins after that a guy walked in,he's late and the lecturer scold him.. "u r a guy! a girl can walk faster than u...blablablabla"..a second after that a lot of his friend(guys n girls ) walks in.
the class that the guy attend before that seems to be released late by the other lecturer .. so she was ashamed and ended up in pure silence.
then, she asks a question and randomly picked a person. and today.. maybe its my luck kot. ive been chosen. at that time, i have a sinus + a headache n period pain.. but ive tried my best kot to answer her question.. i know that the answer that ive given is right bcz my friends told me the answer.. but, she came down to silence and said.."student macam ni la yang saya kategorikan sebagai student KURANG AJAR!. xberusaha langsung nak jawab soalan saya..." n then she asked another question..she didnt point to anyone but stared at me.. i cant seem to answer because i was so shocked with her statement just now..of course i was soooooooo shocked..! no one had ever said something like that in my whole life!.. then she said.."saya malas nak tunggu awak jawab soalan saya sebab saya tau yg awak xkan jwb soalan saya.. sampai akhirat pon awak xkan jawab soalan saya kan??".. in my heart im cursing this teacher,she is playing with fire. so i replied by nodding my head,staring her sharply into the eye n confidently said "yes" to her..
the whole lecture hall seems to be having a complete silence that minute... she realized that situation n continued her lecture..
about 15-20 mins after that, a student's phone rings... she rounded her eye to a the owner of the phone n says " saya bunoh awak! saya yang mengajar kuliah pon silentkan phone,siap off lagi.. awak yg belajar ni x reti2 ke silent phone??" then,she continued babbling about transport system n so on n so forth.. but suddenly a phone rings again.. now with a different ringing tone..
n there she was.. standing.. smiling (ugh,fake smile!) n pretending to be cute which we(the students) think is very disgusting..she said "saya xtau la mcm mane bole mcm tu.. tadi saya rasa saya dah silentkan.. tapi xtau la.. hehhehehehe" i keep on cursing her n writing 'ifucku!' repeatedly on my reference book untill the class had ended.
soon after that i bumped to her while walking to my room.. she stared at me n i stare sharply to her( she started first!!) then i just walks n walk.. but in my room i kept crying that day.. i text sum1 to call me n cheer me up but the person is very bbusy.
i ended up texting ben(my very best besties). he cheer me up. but in the end.. i stayed up late just doing nothing but crying. my roomates which are aware of my situation asked me my problem...i shared with her and she askd me to report her(the lecturer's) attitude to the councelling unit.. they can take action on her. but.. in the end i just keep it to myself..not wanting to involve the other lecturer...
jack(my bestie,same lecture as mine that time) called that night and asks me if i wanna join him go home the next day. i agreed instatly! after bio lecture(which i hate,hearing my mp3 the whole lecture class) we head home. n here i am now, home!
but for me, lecturer's werent supposed to said something like 'kurang ajar or saya bunuh awak' to their student.. even if they are mad to the student, she should punish them in other ways.. not by their rudeness.. because we,students are sincere to study with them. we are determined to come to class eventhough we hate that class. we came there to get knowledge. but what did we get? lecturer's rudeness.. of course students will curse the lcturer right? is that what they really want? is that the objective to be an educator? we,student dislike that kind of lecturer. we love someone that can teach us the world and if we've done mistakes,correct us politely..like we are their childrens.. thats what we want. not some lecturer that was always throwing their tantrum over their students.. i here,speaks for all the students for u,educators. please.. just please educate us.. not making us hate u. we can be very dangerously fragile n if we've had it with your attitude,we might do something u cant imagine. so,caution!
but that,was just my reason.
the truth is.. im having a mental breakdown....
last friday was a usually an unextraordinary friday for me. living a gay and carefree life laughing out loud with my buddies..thats me.. they rarely see me having a bad mood or somewhat moody.
but,this friday seems to carved a nightmare in me,myself.
i was sitting in the lecture hall as my lecturer comes in to deliver her lecture.
5mins after that a guy walked in,he's late and the lecturer scold him.. "u r a guy! a girl can walk faster than u...blablablabla"..a second after that a lot of his friend(guys n girls ) walks in.
the class that the guy attend before that seems to be released late by the other lecturer .. so she was ashamed and ended up in pure silence.
then, she asks a question and randomly picked a person. and today.. maybe its my luck kot. ive been chosen. at that time, i have a sinus + a headache n period pain.. but ive tried my best kot to answer her question.. i know that the answer that ive given is right bcz my friends told me the answer.. but, she came down to silence and said.."student macam ni la yang saya kategorikan sebagai student KURANG AJAR!. xberusaha langsung nak jawab soalan saya..." n then she asked another question..she didnt point to anyone but stared at me.. i cant seem to answer because i was so shocked with her statement just now..of course i was soooooooo shocked..! no one had ever said something like that in my whole life!.. then she said.."saya malas nak tunggu awak jawab soalan saya sebab saya tau yg awak xkan jwb soalan saya.. sampai akhirat pon awak xkan jawab soalan saya kan??".. in my heart im cursing this teacher,she is playing with fire. so i replied by nodding my head,staring her sharply into the eye n confidently said "yes" to her..
the whole lecture hall seems to be having a complete silence that minute... she realized that situation n continued her lecture..
about 15-20 mins after that, a student's phone rings... she rounded her eye to a the owner of the phone n says " saya bunoh awak! saya yang mengajar kuliah pon silentkan phone,siap off lagi.. awak yg belajar ni x reti2 ke silent phone??" then,she continued babbling about transport system n so on n so forth.. but suddenly a phone rings again.. now with a different ringing tone..
n there she was.. standing.. smiling (ugh,fake smile!) n pretending to be cute which we(the students) think is very disgusting..she said "saya xtau la mcm mane bole mcm tu.. tadi saya rasa saya dah silentkan.. tapi xtau la.. hehhehehehe" i keep on cursing her n writing 'ifucku!' repeatedly on my reference book untill the class had ended.
soon after that i bumped to her while walking to my room.. she stared at me n i stare sharply to her( she started first!!) then i just walks n walk.. but in my room i kept crying that day.. i text sum1 to call me n cheer me up but the person is very bbusy.
i ended up texting ben(my very best besties). he cheer me up. but in the end.. i stayed up late just doing nothing but crying. my roomates which are aware of my situation asked me my problem...i shared with her and she askd me to report her(the lecturer's) attitude to the councelling unit.. they can take action on her. but.. in the end i just keep it to myself..not wanting to involve the other lecturer...
jack(my bestie,same lecture as mine that time) called that night and asks me if i wanna join him go home the next day. i agreed instatly! after bio lecture(which i hate,hearing my mp3 the whole lecture class) we head home. n here i am now, home!
but for me, lecturer's werent supposed to said something like 'kurang ajar or saya bunuh awak' to their student.. even if they are mad to the student, she should punish them in other ways.. not by their rudeness.. because we,students are sincere to study with them. we are determined to come to class eventhough we hate that class. we came there to get knowledge. but what did we get? lecturer's rudeness.. of course students will curse the lcturer right? is that what they really want? is that the objective to be an educator? we,student dislike that kind of lecturer. we love someone that can teach us the world and if we've done mistakes,correct us politely..like we are their childrens.. thats what we want. not some lecturer that was always throwing their tantrum over their students.. i here,speaks for all the students for u,educators. please.. just please educate us.. not making us hate u. we can be very dangerously fragile n if we've had it with your attitude,we might do something u cant imagine. so,caution!
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