What 2016 have taught me...

1.Never judge a person by their actions or their appearance. Being judgmental is so not cool.
People have their own reasons to act like they do. Accept them as they are, understand their situation, and put yourself in their shoes. The judgement that you have will fade once you'll get a full scope in their stories. :)

2.Ask, don't assume. Assumptions is not 100% true. Verify your assumptions please.

3.Running away from your problems would not solve anything. Face your problems heads on!

4.A simple act of kindness will make someone's day. Compliment someone, smile to strangers, help the elders, there a wholee lot more things that you can do for this and once you've done this act of kindness, you'll feel like you have achieved something in a day. When i tried, it actually helps me to go through my rough days, it boost my productivity most of the time.

5.Be good to your body. Love yourself. Take care of yourself.
Occasionally do a health check, go to spas, pedicure, manicure, and salloon  wont hurt you.

6. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Blaming yourself in your mistakes will demotivate you... everyone makes mistakes,right?
Mistake is a learning process. Give yourself credits.

7. Giving feels a lot better than receiving. Trust me. Its like being Santa.

8.If you think you have a fucked up life or you're in a deep shit, always remember that there are people out there are struggling every second to have a sip of water.

9.Be grateful, don't complaint and contemplate life.
 The world is a mean place, you'll be trampled down and dragged in a pit's of hell if you go on and 247 contemplating life as it goes - while other striving their way up.

10. Money is good but it will not guarantee your lifelong happiness - it will runs out eventually.

11.Family is important, no matter how complicated your family is.
They are your blood. Even if they wanna run away and break their bonds with you, they can never will. Deal with it.

12. Don't put your utmost hopes and expectations to people, you'll get hurt if they don't match to your hopes and expectations.
Avoid hoping, start doing things yourself if you can.

13. Friends come and go, true friends even without communications,will be there.
Find that one or two diamonds in your life, keep them well.

14. Kids are awesome, they give free hugs and kisses.
So as babies, they are cute - except when they are pooping. (ugh)

15.Appreciate the people that are there for you, who makes time for you and who would go the extra miles for you.
Always remember the one who lifted you up when you feel like dying, who listened to your never-ending rants and complaints and be there for you still.

16. Be positive. Bad thoughts will only screw you up.
KILL those negative vibes awayyyyy!

17.Thinking is good - OVERTHINKING will kill you.

18.Financial management is very very very very extremely important,manage your money well or screw you. Remember to set aside a part of everything - savings, commitment and entertainment.

19. Debts are a huge NO - especially credit cards. Do not get involve. I repeat, DO NOT GET INVOLVE.!! Backout!Abort mission.

20. Always keep in mind that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
As the saying, we will never know what future hold, and we could not plan when that we can have our misfortunes. Best is, plan ahead. Do a simple risk analysis everyday, minimize the greater risk.

That's all from me for now.

Have a great year ahead!

Last quarter of 2016

I've learnt to move on,
I've learnt to apologize,
I've learnt to be take my own sweet time figuring out who I really am.

Those past scars,
I don't think it'll haunts me again,

It's a good thing that I left,
I thank God that He showed me that part of you before I carved my future-with you.

Its nearing the end of 2016,
And here I am,
Just living one day at a time,
Being happy with the littlest things in life,
Being too caught up with my own world,
Exploring people
Trying to survive..

I hope I won't see you again,
You're my nightmare.

Leave me alone.

Pandora

As I was browsing to the old junk that Ive left untouched, I was stopped when I opened up my old Pandora Box.

And there I was, reminiscing good old time.

It started with a shy friendship, that turns us into lovers, then into strangers - well not that we are not talking now, but I guess we're just friends with history.

The story of us begins while I was in my matriculation college. You manage to get my number because, apparently, my cousin - which were overseas studying, kept your futsal ball and didn't gave you that ball back. So, in order to retrieve that ball, you contacted me.

And who can expect that one single thing can lead to another?

The next thing I know is I'm addicted to texting you - that time, Facebook is like the trending social media, even whatsapp did not exist yet.

Then I received a heart-breaking news which urged me to go back to Kuantan, it was that time, that things get rough, my Granma passed away. Yet, you were there, consulting me, cheering up to me and worrying about my sleepless night. It was around that time, that I fell for you.

Soon after that, my emotions cleared and that was the time 'we' became official. I'd still remember how you proposed to me, it was sweet and touching both at the same time. You asked me my full name and I bluntly answered without expecting anything. And then you dropped a bomb to my heart lol. It was indeed a sweet proposal, and since I already liked you, I agreed to be your lover.

The first song that you gave me is Justin Bieber's song entitled One Time (if I'm not mistaken). That decade, JB is still a nobody, I thought it was a girl singing the song. Then you introduced me to his songs and things developed from there.

Those time with you were precious. You treated me like your only queen and I cant help falling in love with you each and every time I thought of you. You were the first guy that ever done the sweetest thing that a gentleman could offer to his lady - you cooked for me for our anniversary, even buy me flowers, and that teddy bear that you gave, I still have it, hugs it when I'm feeling happy, depressed and when I'm asleep.

But remembering how much you suffers for me is what break my heart the most. Breaking up was the right thing to do - taking the difference in our race into account. I was in the verge of disagreement when you told me that we had to split up, but what can I do? Family must come first even when all I wanted that time is to be happy with you. I was devastated, heart broken, sad, depressed and I felt like dying when you left. Our breakup affect me so much that I lock myself inside my own sadness and I didn't do anything other than cry and felt sorry for myself.

.
(exhales)


Still, what past is the past. We gotta do what we gotta do. Opening up that folder, made me realized how much I've moved on without you and how much I break people's heart in order to get you back. I even did stupid things, to your friend. I cant help but searching the shadows of you in every guy that approaches me. And thought you would come back to me after all those stupid efforts.

I was very young and stupid that time, I'm sorry.



For you, if you happens to read this, there is no word that can express my gratitude for you.

I thanked you, for existed and for giving me the most happiest time of my life. Don't forget me as I know I wont be forgetting you. I'm sorry for all the damages done in the past and all the time and money spent on me. Please, take care and be happy with that girl that seems to be making you smile once again. Be good to your parents. Be healthy.


Again, thank you very much.

Ramadhan 2014

Setahun yang lalu, sekitar waktu ini.

kita berkenalan.

Tempoh perkenalan kita singkat, tetapi amat terkesan di hati.

Sampai sekarang. Sampai saat ini. 

Aku bersyukur kerana masih lagi ada kau sebagai teman berkongsi cerita.

Setahun lepas.

Memori ramadhan dengan mu sangatlah awesome.

Sama sama kejut bangun sahur. 

Balik kerja, jalan pergi bazaar bersama.

Beli makanan yang tak menepati selera berbuka, tapi tetap telan dan habiskan.

Masak untuk berbuka.

Goreng cempedak sebijik, makan sampai bosan.

Anna punya kerang masak kicap. 

Pergi uptown ramai ramai.

Sungkey sama sama diluar.

And. 

Kena paksa makan kurma. 

Di pertengahan ramadhan, kau terpaksa pulang ke negeri tanah tumpahnya darahmu.

Saat itu, saat paling banyak nostalgia.

Habis sebak. 

Sebab taktau bila lagi kita akan berjumpa.

Sebab takut dah takkan dapat jumpa.

Sebab risau kau lupa persahabatan kita.

Sebab sedih kalau aku tak bahagia tanpa kau.

Tapi kau pernah kata.

Bahagia itu terletak kepada diri sendiri. 

Jangan bergantung kepada siapa siapa untuk bahagia.

Lebih kurang macam tu kan?

Semua tu jadi penguat semangat. Sampai sekarang. 

Tahun ini.

Dah pandai makan kurma. 

Dah tak bergantung pada orang lain untuk bahagia. 

All thanks to you.

I miss you, desyntha.

berkira kira

Melihat folder 'draft' ku di sini, 

Terlalu sesak dengan cerita yang tidak berusik,

Dibiarkan tak berpublish,

Tetapi cukup dengan membaca isinya,

Cukup dengan itu,

Boleh membuat aku tersentuh, 

So sekarang ni, 

Aku sedang berkira kira,

Sama ada mahu ataupun tidak publishkan mereka..

**tekupkepala